Last post I mentioned I'm not happy where I'm at in my career and thought I'd be at a different place right now. I've got problems. But it's not my circumstances that are problems, it's my attitude. I'm making it all about me, about what I want and when I want it. When it comes down to it, I'm a selfish child. Where did I get the idea that my life is about me? It's not new, the problem goes back to the beginning and we're all believing the original lie. Does God really know what's best for us?
It would be nice if the Lord gave us trust and patience easily, but those characteristics only increase as we're put to the test. Growth never occurs without difficulty. It's in the midst of the storm that I realize I'm helpless to guide my life. Only when I'm honest in my pain do I understand that my life is not mine. Suffering hurts and it shows me I'm not in control. We hurt when things don't go they way we thought they should. There's the problem. I have an idea how I want my life to be and my Father has another. Guess who's gonna win that tug-of-war?
It's a hard lesson. You're life if not about you. You can't learn that quickly and you'll need continual refresher courses. I get those lessons all the time. The Lord constantly pulls me back and focuses me on what He's doing. In my storms I see Him more clearly. His plan for my life is for my good, but it's primarily for His glory.
My life isn't about me... it's all about Him.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
There is no quick and easy fix.
I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression in the last post. I don't have the suffering thing figured out. Not even close. Honestly, I hate it. Right now is a tough time. I'm impatient, selfish and questioning God. I wish it would just get better. But I don't know how to flip a switch and make suffering go away. I wish it were that easy. I can't tell you how to fix everything that is broken in your life. There is no quick fix to whatever your suffering through.
I can't tell you how to fix your problems because I'm useless to fix mine. Right now I'm walking through a tough time in my career. I doubt my abilities and worth. I feel like I've failed. Things were supposed to be different. I don't think I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but I don't see any options. I'm having a hard time trusting the Lord with my vocation. I ready for this time to end.
There's a lot about suffering that I still don't understand, but I've learned some things. I'm certain of this... you are not alone in your pain. Your Father has not abandoned you. Sometimes you don't hear His voice or see His hand working. But He's there and has never stopped loving you. Even on my worst days, I trust my Father completely. I've walked through many dark valleys and He's never abandoned me. If you're hurting now, please know the Lord is with you.
You are not alone.
I can't tell you how to fix your problems because I'm useless to fix mine. Right now I'm walking through a tough time in my career. I doubt my abilities and worth. I feel like I've failed. Things were supposed to be different. I don't think I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but I don't see any options. I'm having a hard time trusting the Lord with my vocation. I ready for this time to end.
There's a lot about suffering that I still don't understand, but I've learned some things. I'm certain of this... you are not alone in your pain. Your Father has not abandoned you. Sometimes you don't hear His voice or see His hand working. But He's there and has never stopped loving you. Even on my worst days, I trust my Father completely. I've walked through many dark valleys and He's never abandoned me. If you're hurting now, please know the Lord is with you.
You are not alone.
Monday, February 20, 2012
The man from Uz.
I'm certain God answers prayers for wisdom, patience and trust because I've see those qualities grow in my own life. I'm definitely more patient, wise and trusting at 43 than I was at 23. Looking back, I see how far I've come but I also see how far I have to go. That's the funny thing about Christian maturity, as you make progress on the journey you also learn that the road is much longer than you ever dreamed. At 23, I would have said I'd figure it out by the time I hit 43. When I was young, I didn't think the journey would be too long. Decades later I realize that I've barely started the walk.
As a young man I wanted to write a book about Job. I've loved the story of Job since I dug into it in grad school. I feel in love with the story's main character. By the way, it's not Job. Surprised? You may have heard that the book is about Job, a patient God-fearing patriarch. That's wrong on a couple levels. Job wasn't that patient, he gets down right angry and arrogant. And, it's not about him. It's about Him. Job's story is a story about the Lord. It's not so different from our stories. They are not ours, they're His.
Two decades ago I prayed some of the most dangerous prayers I've ever prayed. I asked God to help me understand Job so I could share it with others. I had no idea what I was asking for but I got it. I love the life the Lord has given me, but its been difficult beyond measure. Back then I had no basis to comprehend Job's suffering. I do now. I've lost many things: careers, possessions, relationships and my children. I don't claim to be an expert in many things, but I know suffering. So I want to use this blog to explore ideas in trusting God through suffering.
If you're suffering now, I'm sorry. I can't tell you what it is, but the Lord will do something amazing through it.
He always does. Always.
As a young man I wanted to write a book about Job. I've loved the story of Job since I dug into it in grad school. I feel in love with the story's main character. By the way, it's not Job. Surprised? You may have heard that the book is about Job, a patient God-fearing patriarch. That's wrong on a couple levels. Job wasn't that patient, he gets down right angry and arrogant. And, it's not about him. It's about Him. Job's story is a story about the Lord. It's not so different from our stories. They are not ours, they're His.
Two decades ago I prayed some of the most dangerous prayers I've ever prayed. I asked God to help me understand Job so I could share it with others. I had no idea what I was asking for but I got it. I love the life the Lord has given me, but its been difficult beyond measure. Back then I had no basis to comprehend Job's suffering. I do now. I've lost many things: careers, possessions, relationships and my children. I don't claim to be an expert in many things, but I know suffering. So I want to use this blog to explore ideas in trusting God through suffering.
If you're suffering now, I'm sorry. I can't tell you what it is, but the Lord will do something amazing through it.
He always does. Always.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Prayers God always answers.
What happens when you ask God for a million dollars? Maybe I'm doing it wrong. It's never worked for me, probably not for you either. God's not a wish-granting genie but a lot of us keep hoping he will be. He rarely gives us exactly what we ask for. I've prayed for a lot of things that I've never received. I doubt I'm the only one. But I'm convinced there are some request the Lord always answers. Always. Every time.
James tells us to ask the Lord for wisdom and we'll get it. He's right. That's one of those slam-dunk prayers. It's the same with patience, trust and endurance. If you desire those characteristics of Christian maturity, you'll get them. Please understand, there's a big caveat to those request. A really big caveat. You're probably not going to like how the Lord teaches you those lessons. It's going to hurt, all growing pains do.
You're probably not going to get a Solomon moment. The way I understand the story, Solomon asked for wisdom and he got it, just like that. Instantly he was the wisest man on the planet. But for the rest of us it's going to take a while. Those lessons are learned slowly and painfully. Wisdom is learned through mistakes. Endurance is forged in suffering. Patience is gained by waiting. Trust grows in seasons of doubt.
Be careful what you ask the Lord for, you might just get it.
James tells us to ask the Lord for wisdom and we'll get it. He's right. That's one of those slam-dunk prayers. It's the same with patience, trust and endurance. If you desire those characteristics of Christian maturity, you'll get them. Please understand, there's a big caveat to those request. A really big caveat. You're probably not going to like how the Lord teaches you those lessons. It's going to hurt, all growing pains do.
You're probably not going to get a Solomon moment. The way I understand the story, Solomon asked for wisdom and he got it, just like that. Instantly he was the wisest man on the planet. But for the rest of us it's going to take a while. Those lessons are learned slowly and painfully. Wisdom is learned through mistakes. Endurance is forged in suffering. Patience is gained by waiting. Trust grows in seasons of doubt.
Be careful what you ask the Lord for, you might just get it.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Lord, don't you care?
I've always loved the story of Jesus sleeping through the storm. Here's Mark's account (Mark 4:37-39 ESV)
A great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
I've been there. I can't fault the apostles for asking the same thing. It's terrifying being in a small boat in a big storm. Honestly, a part of me was there today because it was a tough day at the office. I my last post I wrote about how I lost the best job I ever had. I found a new one, and thank God for a job that pays the bills, but it's a difficult place to work. I find myself thinking, "hey Lord, this boat's going down. Don't you care?"
It's great that Matthew and Mark included this story for us. It's good to know the guys closest to Jesus wondered if he cared about their menacing circumstances. This wasn't just a spring shower. Overwhelming waves were filling the boat and Peter and the rest were bailing water as fast as they could. And through it all, Jesus was sound asleep. I love to picture it. Raging storm. Threatening waves. Sleepy Messiah.
Jesus wasn't worried about the storm because he know how insignificant it was. Three little words ended it. Jesus overwhelmed the chaos of the storm and calmed the seas. Not just a little calm, but great calm. Remember that as storm blows around you and the waves crash over your head. Go tell Jesus, he's ready to calm your storm and your spirit.
Peace. Be still.
A great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
I've been there. I can't fault the apostles for asking the same thing. It's terrifying being in a small boat in a big storm. Honestly, a part of me was there today because it was a tough day at the office. I my last post I wrote about how I lost the best job I ever had. I found a new one, and thank God for a job that pays the bills, but it's a difficult place to work. I find myself thinking, "hey Lord, this boat's going down. Don't you care?"
It's great that Matthew and Mark included this story for us. It's good to know the guys closest to Jesus wondered if he cared about their menacing circumstances. This wasn't just a spring shower. Overwhelming waves were filling the boat and Peter and the rest were bailing water as fast as they could. And through it all, Jesus was sound asleep. I love to picture it. Raging storm. Threatening waves. Sleepy Messiah.
Jesus wasn't worried about the storm because he know how insignificant it was. Three little words ended it. Jesus overwhelmed the chaos of the storm and calmed the seas. Not just a little calm, but great calm. Remember that as storm blows around you and the waves crash over your head. Go tell Jesus, he's ready to calm your storm and your spirit.
Peace. Be still.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Don't forget who you are.
This blog didn't start at the beginning of my story. We're picking it up at the end. Well, not the end end, but the end of right now. My current storm began to rage last spring. It started with one of those days I'll never forget. There are a few other day throughout my life that I still remember changing me. Some were good, others not so much. February 11, 1994 changed my life and May 28, 2003 changed my soul. I'll tell you about those someday. But on March 28, 2011 I lost a job that I absolutely loved. It's weird that almost exactly a year prior, in March 2010, I wrote this...
A year before the storm hit, I was assured of who I am. I'm my Father's son. Identity is critical when life's storms come. When you're certain of who you are, everything changes. Circumstance no longer define who you are.
More than knowing who I am, I know whose I am.
I am a son of the Most High God, Creator and Sustainer of life,
Sovereign Lord of Heaven and Earth,the only source of salvation and significance.
I was chosen and adopted by Him, a joint-heir of Jesus Christ,
sharing in all rights and privileges endowed upon a son of the King.
The enemy will attack me, he can take those precious to me,
everything I have, even my own life; but he can never take away my identity.
I am a son of the Most High God.
More than knowing who I am, I know whose I am.
Monday, February 13, 2012
There's a storm coming.
I'll never forget November 2010. Around Thanksgiving I began to hear the Lord ask me if I trusted Him. I'm not sure how God talks to you, but I felt the question deep in my soul. "Do you trust Me?" There was no mistaking who was asking. It was the voice of the Spirit and it wouldn't quit.
I told my friends and June (my wife) that something was coming. I was certain of it. I kept hearing the question for months. I tried to ignore it, but the Spirit is persistent. Who knew? When God’s trying to get your attention, He’s doesn’t give up.
He doesn't often give you a heads-up before trouble. Usually, life just happens and you learn to trust Him in the moment. Having a hint didn’t make it easier. If anything, my fear grew in the anticipation. The trust dynamic changes when you know about trouble in advance. I knew a storm was coming but I knew He already saw the other side. (FYI, I’m not on the other side… yet).
A part of me was afraid. But another part was ready to get started. My gut was telling me that I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. I knew it would be unpleasant, and maybe, downright painful. My heart was telling me that I was going to be OK. I always am.
I answered with reluctant certainty, "You know I do." The question wasn't easy to answer, but it wasn't difficult either. For 43 years God has always been faithful to me.
I was certain He wasn’t going anywhere when the storm hit.
I told my friends and June (my wife) that something was coming. I was certain of it. I kept hearing the question for months. I tried to ignore it, but the Spirit is persistent. Who knew? When God’s trying to get your attention, He’s doesn’t give up.
He doesn't often give you a heads-up before trouble. Usually, life just happens and you learn to trust Him in the moment. Having a hint didn’t make it easier. If anything, my fear grew in the anticipation. The trust dynamic changes when you know about trouble in advance. I knew a storm was coming but I knew He already saw the other side. (FYI, I’m not on the other side… yet).
A part of me was afraid. But another part was ready to get started. My gut was telling me that I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. I knew it would be unpleasant, and maybe, downright painful. My heart was telling me that I was going to be OK. I always am.
I answered with reluctant certainty, "You know I do." The question wasn't easy to answer, but it wasn't difficult either. For 43 years God has always been faithful to me.
I was certain He wasn’t going anywhere when the storm hit.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Do you trust me?
What are the four scariest words someone can ask you? Is it "wanna hold a snake?" That question terrifies me. But the big scary question is "do you trust me?"
Hang on. That's my first thought. Then my mind finds a million excuses for whatever request is coming. I'm not sure I want to do it. I love them and all, but hey, we don't know each other that well. I mean, we're just friends. I don't like it when others make demands of me. I try to find a way out. Is that what you do when someone ask you to trust them?
When someone ask you that question, you're being invited into an adventure. Probably a risky one. Nobody ever asks you to trust them then gives you a bag of cotton candy. Cotton candy requires no trust. Sacrifices do. You may have to give up time, money or yourself. You have to be vulnerable. It's going to cost you something when you join in someones life.
It is a leap of faith to trust a friend when they ask you to journey together into something new, something scary. So what do you feel when the Lord ask you that question?
How terrifying is that?
Hang on. That's my first thought. Then my mind finds a million excuses for whatever request is coming. I'm not sure I want to do it. I love them and all, but hey, we don't know each other that well. I mean, we're just friends. I don't like it when others make demands of me. I try to find a way out. Is that what you do when someone ask you to trust them?
When someone ask you that question, you're being invited into an adventure. Probably a risky one. Nobody ever asks you to trust them then gives you a bag of cotton candy. Cotton candy requires no trust. Sacrifices do. You may have to give up time, money or yourself. You have to be vulnerable. It's going to cost you something when you join in someones life.
It is a leap of faith to trust a friend when they ask you to journey together into something new, something scary. So what do you feel when the Lord ask you that question?
How terrifying is that?
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